so about the feeling huge, heres why: ok i basically, well...roll out of bed now. there is no just "sitting up"...you roll over and roll off. haha. its really quite funny. and because of my protruding belly, my laugh has changed! i know, its really weird....but it has! its like, deeper, and harder to make a noise come out. its just kind of an erratic, quiet...hysterical laugh. especially when im laying down, oh man. i can barely get a laugh out! still reading belly laughs by jenny mccarthy and seriously, ben laughs at me because i laugh so hard in bed. i was CRYING, real huge baby tears reading the chapter on how your body changes. this laugh thing, its really funny. haha.
oh yea and its hard to slouch. my mom would be super proud:) i cannot slouch...it hurts! everything all squishes together and im like..."um, AIR!". oh and my back is starting to hurt...lower back. such fun!
its been kind of hard these last few weeks, just getting used to the physical changes. literally ive popped out in the last 2 weeks...its kinda scary! im not worried, its just very scary to look at yourself and realize you have no recollection of what your body used to look like. seriously! none. i know it wont be like this forever, but for now its going to take some getting used to:)
it was also a hard week because most of you know from facebook, that ben and i had to put norman to sleep on saturday. very unexpected..he was going to be 3 years old tomorrow...and we didnt know that he was ill but apparently hes been sick for a while, and got really bad really fast. it was hands down the worst day of both ben and i's life. i still cant go into it without crying and losing it, which isnt good for me or josiah or my stress level...so just be praying for ben and I. it still hurts a lot.
in other josiah news, i still havent really felt this kid move around! hes driving me crazy, i am dying to feel him. and i know hes moving around, because our last two sonograms he was a wild man...flipping around, standing on his head, throwing his hands and arms everywhere...i dont know if its just cuz i dont really know what to look out for, or if im so a.d.d that he is where i can feel him and i dont notice because im not paying attention..i dont know~ but everyones telling me that once they start you want them to stop. i dont necessarily know that that will be the case with me:) i cant wait to have dance parties in my belly! super cool.
i ordered enlargements and prints of a bunch of B&W images yesterday to start framing and putting in his room. i have to find the shade of blue i want first and then paint...ben hates to paint, so graham agreed to be my helper for the day! im very excited to get everything started. plus, ben and i registered at target, pottery barn kids...and we still need to go to ikea and babys r us. hey, im trying to give people options:)
alright the entertainment portion is here. here i am at 19 weeks....
and here i am at 20 weeks! taken yesterday....credit ben for making me laugh.
and heres my kid. sweet profile huh?
alright thats it for now. hope i gave you all some laughs for the night!!
