24 1/2 week shot.

well the time has finally come where i can no longer pretend to look cute. "getting away with it" is sadly, no longer an option. i am large, and in charge. fantastic!

ok haha this picture cracks me up. i have no legs, my face is gay, i look backwards, and the way my dress is hanging im all straight in the back and WHAM round in the front. HAHA. truly horrific. BEN, i demand you take "not as retarded" pictures of me in the future!!

ok thats it for now. i'll update with a more wordy post at my 24 weeks...this thursday. because pregnant people are tired and well, im one of those pregnant people....and im tired. night!

23 weeks and feelin fine...

oh geez i'm getting railed at from all sides...i'm sorry people! these last 3 weeks have been mayhem...and february was one of my SLOW months for photography. ugh. here i am posting!! im alive...josiah is doing well...and i'd thought i'd start my post with a picture today, instead of ending it with on...

so here i am, this is actually last week...so technically 22 weeks. i'll put another post up this week with my 23 weeks belly.

things have been going well...super normal. no major happenings...just a few bumps in the road:) haha. i crack myself up. ok but really, here is what ive been dealing with/feeling lately.
1. josiah using me as a punching bag and a kickboxing partner. yes, i feel him now more than ever and man is he active. he kills me! sometimes i swear he's just taking ONE finger and WHAM, jamming it into my side. it hurts a little bit:) but other than that im liking him movin around in there. cool to feel. not as cool to feel when he decides to have dance parties as soon as i get into bed. but whatev.
2. my back is killing me. started just my lower back, now its the whole thing. im holding up a lot of weight people! im using a lot of icyhot and acetaminophen lately. and shooting weddings and just regular old photo shoots..well..at the end of it i feel like my back is going to just give out. NICE!!
3. itching. thats all im gonna say.
4. im tired and hungry again, kinda like i was in my first trimester. and more now to do than ever before! thats how it goes i guess.
5. a teensy bit of swelling...i notice it only when i try to stretch or sit on the floor or something...and mostly after a long day at the salon. ahhhh cannot wait for may 29th when there will be no more long days at the salon, or days at the salon period.

thats pretty much the jist! i had an ob appt this morning. his heartbeat is good, 150...this week he weighs just over a pound and is around 11 inches. a growin boy for sure. speaking of growing HELLO so am i. i about had a coronary right on the ob scale this morning. i literally said "holy geez" and the lady laughed at me and said..."you're tiny!". well i'm glad i look it and i dont actually have to wear my weight around on my forehead or anything. Lord have mercy..I would die. ben thinks im silly and duh, im supposed to be gaining weight which DUH i know...its just frightening to see that number. that darn number. grrr. but as long as josiah is good, im golden. :)

i know i said i would post some pics of his room...and i'm getting to it. this weekend i'm going to go ahead and move my office into our bedroom...:( not a huge fan, and ben isnt either but theres no where else for it to go. i need to start painting so thats the first step. ben is sanding down the dresser and is going to stain it black...and here are the anthropologie knobs i bought and are still currently in love with...


arent they MARVELOUS? ahhhh i love anthro. the joy of not buying new baby furniture is getting to buy new knobs:)

so lots to get to before small group..gotta go...here is a list of current baby to-do's. anyone wanna help? lol
1. paint room
2. design and buy wood for changing table
3. find and buy used pottery barn crib
4. move my office
5. get that ghetto couch of josiahs room
6. finish registering at babys r us
7. get stoked about the shower my sis is throwing me in tallahassee
8. have my belly shoot with jess
9. finish printing and framing all the b&w images for josiahs room
10. buy stuff. fun, but not on the bank account.

peace out people!

20 weeks aka i feel huge.

yea yea thats right. its finally my time to feel humongous. and i know im not! but man i just feel that way. ive had some great uninvited feedback from random people...."oh you look great" "you're so tiny!" but sometimes im convinced that people just say that because they think.."holy moly this girl must feel like a whale, gotta say something to ease the social pain..". but if i was in doubt before yesterday, well my confidence was definitely boosted while in line at publix. YES, at last an incident with a stranger in publix!! i know, its been a long time coming:) the african american girl who was checking me out says "ooooo girl, u pregnant?"....."girl you looking gooood."...."fo real how far are you? 5 months? shoooooot. you lookin good girlfriend, looking good..alright, alright, yes maam". HAHA! it was the greatest thing! i ofcourse said why thank you, seriously, thank you very much. but i left feeling very validated.

so about the feeling huge, heres why: ok i basically, well...roll out of bed now. there is no just "sitting up"...you roll over and roll off. haha. its really quite funny. and because of my protruding belly, my laugh has changed! i know, its really weird....but it has! its like, deeper, and harder to make a noise come out. its just kind of an erratic, quiet...hysterical laugh. especially when im laying down, oh man. i can barely get a laugh out! still reading belly laughs by jenny mccarthy and seriously, ben laughs at me because i laugh so hard in bed. i was CRYING, real huge baby tears reading the chapter on how your body changes. this laugh thing, its really funny. haha.
oh yea and its hard to slouch. my mom would be super proud:) i cannot slouch...it hurts! everything all squishes together and im like..."um, AIR!". oh and my back is starting to hurt...lower back. such fun!

its been kind of hard these last few weeks, just getting used to the physical changes. literally ive popped out in the last 2 weeks...its kinda scary! im not worried, its just very scary to look at yourself and realize you have no recollection of what your body used to look like. seriously! none. i know it wont be like this forever, but for now its going to take some getting used to:)

it was also a hard week because most of you know from facebook, that ben and i had to put norman to sleep on saturday. very unexpected..he was going to be 3 years old tomorrow...and we didnt know that he was ill but apparently hes been sick for a while, and got really bad really fast. it was hands down the worst day of both ben and i's life. i still cant go into it without crying and losing it, which isnt good for me or josiah or my stress level...so just be praying for ben and I. it still hurts a lot.

in other josiah news, i still havent really felt this kid move around! hes driving me crazy, i am dying to feel him. and i know hes moving around, because our last two sonograms he was a wild man...flipping around, standing on his head, throwing his hands and arms everywhere...i dont know if its just cuz i dont really know what to look out for, or if im so a.d.d that he is where i can feel him and i dont notice because im not paying attention..i dont know~ but everyones telling me that once they start you want them to stop. i dont necessarily know that that will be the case with me:) i cant wait to have dance parties in my belly! super cool.

i ordered enlargements and prints of a bunch of B&W images yesterday to start framing and putting in his room. i have to find the shade of blue i want first and then paint...ben hates to paint, so graham agreed to be my helper for the day! im very excited to get everything started. plus, ben and i registered at target, pottery barn kids...and we still need to go to ikea and babys r us. hey, im trying to give people options:)

alright the entertainment portion is here. here i am at 19 weeks....
and here i am at 20 weeks! taken yesterday....credit ben for making me laugh.
and heres my kid. sweet profile huh?
alright thats it for now. hope i gave you all some laughs for the night!!

18 week belly.

here she blows! sometimes these pics are scary. but man i love this kid!

ITS A BOY - 18 weeks

i can hardly contain myself. i have been on cloud nine since 4pm!!
yes, its a boy. his name is josiah benjamin. YES I FINALLY REVEALED! bust out the blue. bring on the trucks and drills (haha letty!). time to prepare for spit balls and mud fights and things being thrown at me. YES. seriously, i am all about this kid. bring it on!

bens super excited its a boy. i knew he would be! i ofcourse went straight from the dr. to target. i was bummed to find that they did not carry infant chucks. COME ON people...i will have to find them elsewhere. but i did buy johnson & johnson baby lotion, because ive always loved the smell..its the official baby smell. then i bought the bath wrap hoodie, blue...its like a shark or something, i dont know it was an uber adorable towel that you wrap them in after a bath. OMG. oh and then i went to kohls just to browse (secretly hoping THEY had infant chucks), and found a super cute little blue/white striped chaps onsie w/legs. i am going to be that picky mom. i will not, i repeat...will not be buying anything that has cartoon characters or baseball bats or planes or trucks or soccer balls on it...im all about stripes and solids. to each his own, right?? i figure im going to let him decide when the time comes whether he even likes baseball or soccer or planes or trucks. i dont wanna force anything on him, lol...

a few things going on with my this week: so funny. i had a few photo shoots in tallahassee over the weekend. well, by the end of the two days i had almost fallen/tripped FOUR times AND pulled a muscle in my back that is still ailing me. haha. my equilibrium is like, way off. im really not a clumsy person...until now! and then i read my weekly baby update thing and it says:
"Starting to feel a bit off balance? As your belly grows, your center of gravity changes, so you may begin to occasionally feel a little unsteady on your feet. Try to avoid situations with a high risk of falling". haha. so its bad that i carried and climbed up and down a step-stool for 2 hours at my engagement shoot yesterday? yea thats no good, i seriously almost ate it a few times. GREAT! the only other thing is i feel like ive grown a TON in the last 2 weeks. i dont have a picture today, but i'll get one up this week and you can see for yourself.

to end with, i thought i'd regale the story of our sonogram today. suffice it to say i have to go back in two weeks because junior wouldnt let us get a good shot of his mouth and nose, which ya know, those are important to make sure that they are there. so anyways, after she told us it was a boy and we both were like "hahaha told ya!! YES".....josiah proceeded to make finding everything incredibly difficult. the kid was standing on his head half the time, and doing back flips in my womb. seriously! she'd try to find something and he'd be like, eh, you're annoying me...and freaking flip over! he was a wild man! and this all to say that....i now know that this is bens child. oh Lord Jesus help me.

thats all for now folks!! YAYA FOR BOYS!

17 weeks...

it looks like this is going to be a weekly update thing...i try to get on here more than that, but honestly, i'm feeling so normal that i dont think there is more to write about that wont fit in one post:)

this week was the first time i felt people, well..SAW people staring at me. haha. its kinda funny. they look at you like you're some alien life form...just standing/sitting there gawking at your midsection..who knows whats going on in their thoughts at that moment, i dont care. i just think its really humorous. i was at a shower yesterday and distinctly noticed 4-5 girls just mesmerized by my waist...and do they think i cannot see them? haha. i notice everything, its a gift. im keenly aware of whats going on around me at all times, and i just thought it was so funny that well, here i am! its that time. people are starting to stare.

there's also this perception that you are all of the sudden incapable of doing very ordinary non-strenuous things, like moving from the chair to the couch, or bending over to pick something up. HAHA. seriously, i just get a kick out of it all. i mean you hear the cliche "im pregnant, im not dying"....but man, its really true! and i dont blame people, i mean, if you dont know what its like to be pregnant its easy to think of it as some kind of disability that keeps you from being able to do very mundane things...so i dont let it bother me. i humor it..after all, people are good natured generally and they are doing it to be nice. however i pity the first person i dont know who makes a pass at my belly....the claws will come out. believe me you will all know when this happens, there will be a nice long post on here about how i back-handed the crazy belly-touching lady at publix. just wait.

so little things im noticing this week...i can hear and feel my heartbeat like all the way up in my neck and ears. like loud! its crazy. ben says its because my heart is working so much harder, ya know..keeping up with us both. but sometimes when its quiet i get so annoyed with the thump thump in my ear constantly. sleeping on my stomach is pretty much going to end soon..its harder to breathe that way, lol. and bending down or over or slouching is very uncomfortable...i like to take deep breaths and they become labored if im all squished together. and im craving more things now than i ever did my first trimester. actually, i didnt really crave anything my first trimester. right now im LOVING oranges, salads with honey mustard dressing, everything bagels with cream cheese, WATER all the time, craisings, and bbq pork sandwiches with cole slaw. haha, its so random. really, i dont know where any of this comes from. and honestly im really proud of myself for not "milking" this pregnant thing for all its worth. i mean, do you guys know....really know how much i love doughnuts? i could be living off of them. i think i can remember having a doughnut ONCE since we found out about the kiddo. ONCE! yes, im doing well.

other than the above i feel super duper normal. there are moments throughout the day where i forget i am pregnant because i feel so normal...oh and then i just look down and its all confirmed, haha.

before i include the ever-humorous picture of my growing belly, exciting news is that we find out a week from today what this thing is! and then i dont have to call it a thing or it on here anymore:) so stay tuned! (january 26th!!)

here i am at 17 weeks!

15 weeks!

i cant believe....that this is the year we are going to have a baby. its still so weird to think about! we had night of worship last night at church, and i think i cried the entire time...just thanking God for the blessing of pregnancy, asking for my fear and doubt to be stripped away, praying that Ben and I will be the kind of parents God calls us to be, and thanking Him for God-willing entrusting us with a child. i still wake up every day and grab my stomach thinking "please Jesus let it still be in there.."...so last night I really prayed for trust.

so the holidays were crazy, and relaxing at the same time. we went home to deland to be with my family...and wouldnt you know, i got sick christmas day and the 2 days after! haha. like, sick as if i was back in week 7 sick...i barely got off of the couch but to eat and go to the bathroom. a huge bummer...not sure what was up but it eventually went away. im really, really thankful that there has been no throwing up. i'll take laying on the couch any day.

I've had some definite changes since the last time i wrote though! im not as tired, my appetite has calmed down a bit, and for the most part i feel good. oh and theres for sure a growth coming from my midsection. HA! i still feel like im at the stage where people dont really know if you're pregnant or just had a big lunch...it sounds ridiculous, but i kinda cant wait to be bigger so it'll just be obvious!

my doctors appointments up to this point have been pretty standard, take your blood, check your blood pressure, hear that heartbeat (so cool.). they'll be getting more exciting soon, i promise. our ultrasound to find out "boy or girl" is on january 26th...(Kaili's birthday AND Vanessa's due date!) we are soooooo ready to find out and call this thing by name. most of you know the names already but im not revealing until we find out, for those who dont know. i think they're pretty awesome names. after we find out, the fun begins! the registering, the buying, the room decorating..lol. im pretty unconventional when it comes to the decorating thing...i dont think we are going to paint (because the baby is due july 1, and we might be going to dental school somewheres else not in FL)...i figure the kid should know what his momma does and loves, so im filling the room with images, pictures, frames, canvases...thats my idea so far.

so what would a post be without a picture to laugh at right? well here's the latest...me at 15 weeks!



so there ya go. i really should plan these pics around a time when bens home so its not incredibly obvious that im taking them myself, haha. oh well. there it is anyhow. ben and i were shooting a wedding in st. augustine the other day and he snuck a shot of my belly while i was shooting formals. i saw it and was like...HOLY HUGENESS....i almost died. now looking at the above, i dont look too bad...haha. like i care anyways! im happy to be where i am.

alright thats enough for today...i promise to be better at posting. 2009 is a year full of discipline for me, watch out.